July 1ST, 2003
A mountain top in Tibet.
A lone figure, elderly in appearance, sits with his legs crossed in deep meditation.
As the noonday sun reflects off his bald head he quietly blends his consciousness with the universe.
He is of Asian heritage, this quiet figure.
A rush of wind and a man dressed in dirty clothes with messed up hair is before him. An American male, he speaks to the elderly Master of Thought, “Yug Gni Zama?”
“It is I” Zama replies.
“Yes, I’m John Swiftman and I was referred to you by Amazing Guy. He said you might be able to help me deal with my past.” The American says.
“One’s past lies behind the present, standing as a gateway to the present.” Zama calmly replies without opening his eyes.
“Uh, yes. Anyway, not to long ago I was a kid and a superhero. I was sucked into a portal, this was a few years back, and on the other side of the portal was this horrible place. I lived there for twenty years but when I finally got back it turned out only a week past here on Earth. Anyway, that was a few years ago. While I was in that dimension tons of stuff happened. I fell in love, met new friends, saw people die, got married and when through too much. I just.. just have a hard time dealing with it all.” Long silence.
So much silence that the once impulsive Swiftman starts to think his trip here was stupid.
Then finally Yug Gni Zama speaks up, “Life is not a tangled web but instead it is a journey. One can leave for the journey. One can experience the journey. One can return from the journey. One’s suitcase, however, may continue to travel the skyways, eternally lost in the luggage bends of the mind.”
“Luggage? Whu? HUH? Ok, you lost me.”
“The squirrel gathers nuts but if it leaves the nuts in the forests, it may yearn for those nuts later. Only by using those nuts for their true purpose can the squirrel be edified.”
“WHAT? Squirrels and luggage? That’s all you have? Shyeah. Go see Yug Gni Zama, he says. He will help you he says. You know what? You keep your nuts. I’m going home!”
With a mighty gust of wind thirty three year old John Swiftman, the hero known as Swift, speeds down the mountain, over the land, on the surface of the Pacific Ocean, back on land through the forest of Oregon and into his cabin. All within two seconds.
SLAM!
He slumps onto a chair.
“What the h*ll am I gonna do? I miss her so much! It all seems like yesterday…”
Swift : Escape Velocity, part 1.
May 16th, 2000
The Paradopolis Museum.
It’s dark tonight here at the museum. It’s after hours. It’s a good thing that the curator of the museum happens to be the hero known as Pigeonman because tonight is far different then the norm..
Five heroes are gathered tonight. The ancient evil known as Kuu Kuu Ka Chu has retuned to life. During the battle that resulted, two heroes were badly wounded. Jack Rabbit and Frogman both lie inert.
Pigeonman and Trickshot decide what to do about their fallen friends. When the youthful thirteen year old hero, Jonny Swiftman aka Speedstreak, zips over to Trickshot the archer to offer his assistance, “Don't worry 'bout that, man! I'll just carry them at super speed--"
Trickshot cuts him off, “Forget it kid! With his injuries you could kill him!"
Speedstreak tries again, “But Tric-"
The archer and newest member of the Lair Legion retorts angrily, “I SAID NO! STAY WITH THESE TWO! We'll be right back!"
And with that the Battling Bow-Guy and the Winged-Wonder of History charge down a hallway.
"!@@#$^&*&^%$!!! STUPID LEGIONNAIRE! He thinks he's so tough! I could'a rushed off and saved both these two then been back to take on ol' Koo-Koo! I should do it anyway. Except,… if he's right. Damn!" Speedstreak says to himself. All the while the youth is angry with the heroes for how everything is working out.
Long minutes pass by until the police arrive. While they take the weakening bodies of Jack Rabbit and Frogman away, Speedstreak tares down the corridor past all the ancient Egyptian artifacts. So much of his small history comes into view.
He thinks of how the small time villain called Mental Midget took over several heroes minds. He made them form into a group. They took on the first name of the Lair Legion. They called themselves the League of Regulars. They fought the real Lair Legion and lost. Once their minds were freed from Mental Midget’s control the broke up. He wanted them to stick together. He needed something to belong to. He never told any of them that he was living in an orphanage and didn’t have any family.
So upset with everything, Speedstreak starts to rant to himself, "!@$&! Why couldn't they listen to me? No one ever does! The new League of Regulars broke up. The Lair Legion didn't want me! The Abandoned Legion didn't want me! The New Teen Battlers took Plant Girl, but left me out! Now the newby, Trickshot, bosses me around! He's not even from this universe!"
So engrossed in his feelings he hasn't notices the sandy yet dark shadow coming down the hall. At least not until it speaks with a familiar voice. Once he hears it he knows its Kuu Kuu Ka Chu. "Ah, dear little hero. Your friends should have trusted you. If they had you’re great speed at their side, maybe I would still be a spirit, instead they didn't trust you, little man, and now they’re dead!"
Jonny Swiftman doesn’t know that Trickshot and Pigeonman will survive Ka Chu’s trap. He didn’t realize that the villain is leading him on. All he knows is fear, frustration and hate towards this foe. With a primal scream, the impulsive thirteen year old orphan known as Speedstreak charges forward.
Kuu Kuu Ka Chu calmly pushes a display case with a small ancient Egyptian sundial in front of him. Ka Chu knows this artifact. Back when he was alive in ancient Egypt a traveler from far away known as Justin Tyme left it behind by mistake. At least when he ordered it stolen, that’s what High Priest Ka Chu told the Pharaoh.
Ka Chu dealt with a similar foe back in ancient Egypt and knew what would happen if a speedster came in contact with the sundial.
When the kid collides with the display case, the display case shatters. The device tunes in to Speedstreak’s power and sends out Chrono energies to connect with the Speedfarce the kid uses, causing a rift to open not through time, but interdimensional space. Speedstreak doesn't stand a chance as the effect folds into itself. He's gone. But before he completely fades, he hears Ka Chu say, "Remember little man, if the others trusted you, you wouldn't have this fate!"
Jonny instantly felt like he was smacked in the face. He had no clue where he’d end up but surly he never expected this!
Instead of the hard tile floor that his boots fell upon he found himself running across soft sand. He almost stumbled in it but he soon catched his balance.
Everywhere he looked there was crimson sand dunes and large jagged green rocks.
His eyes started to sting as the sand storm he’d come into racked against his costume. His face started to get redder and the costume began to rip.
“I’ve got to get back! Those jerks need me!”
He takes off, even faster. He knows that with his incredible speed, he should be able to break the dimensional barrier but for some reason he can’t.
“Sand! All I see is sand! Why isn’t my speed enough?”
Soon the harsh environment has ripped his costume even more. His arms and legs are bare; his mask has ripped to shreds.
“Gotta..stop..can’t..keep..this..up”
The young thirteen year old crashed into a sand dune.
“Uuuh.. no Tricky..Pigeonman.. no.. NO!”
Young Jonny Swiftman, Speedstreak, awaked in a cold sweat.
He saw a girl looking down on him.
“You’ve waken. Good. I’m Rachael. You’re pretty lucky you know. If it weren’t for Arnold you would’ve died out there.”
“What? Where am I?”
He looked around the room. He was on a make shift cot which appeared to be in a cave. His ripped up Speedstreak costume was in the corner in a dirty heap. A Dark brown robe replaced it on his body. Various people were engaged in all sorts of activities. Everyone, including the girl, was dressed in what appeared to be black lizard skins. If they didn’t act and talk like modern people, he’d mistake them for cave men for their attire alone.
“You are in the caves of the Outcast People. You were found outside in the desert wasteland. I am Rachael, daughter to Ruth, granddaughter to Sarah. My people, the Outcasts, have lived here on this land as long as I remember.”
Jonny wants to say something but he’s just amazed at her beauty. In his entire thirteen years of life he’s never seen a girl as gorgeous as this.
“How.. how old are you?”
“Thirteen, strange boy from elsewhere. And you?”
“Same. And you can call me Jonny. My names Jonny Swiftman. Some people call me Speedstreak.”
“Well Jonny, you’re not the first out world traveler to become trapped here. And like them you will blend into our culture and I’m confident become a important part of our tribe.”
At this Jonny jumps up, “What? No! I cant!”
Rachael looks a little taken aback at this.
“Uh.. I mean.. it’s not that I wouldn’t mind spending my life here with you..”
She blushes.
“but it’s just that back home on Earth a major baddie named Kuu Kuu Ka Chu has started up a mess of trouble and..”
“Who did you say?” a voice calls out from behind Rachael.
“Jonny Swiftman, this is Arnold Baker. He saved you. It was him who brought you into our shelter.”
Both boys nod at each other. Arnold is seventeen but acts much older.
“What name did you say? From your… world?”
“Kuu Kuu Ka Chu, why?”
“Do you think?” Rachael asks Arnold without finishing her sentence.
“It might be. Oh! Sorry, Jonny is it? I’m being rude. You might have something in common with most of our tribe. If you’ll follow us, there’s someone I think you should meet.”
Jonny was escorted through the cave to a deeper quarter. As he went he got to talk to this boy and this girl. He discovered how they think of each other as brother and sister. How Arnold has watched over Rachael ever sense her father and grandparents died. It was obvious from the beginning that Rachael and Jonny were attracted to each other. “Alright Jonny,” he thought to himself, “When I get out of here, I’m going to try and take her with me.”
They come to a quiet room. Lit by torchlight, he can see a solitary old man. The man is dressed in faded yellow robes with a long white beard. He seems to be in his seventies.
Rachael and Arnold bow low. She explains, “Great wise one. This is Jonny Swiftman. He comes from another Earth.”
Jonny thinks, “Another?”
The old man stirs. His voice cracks as he speaks, like he hasn’t used it for sometime, “You probably have lots of questions. Let me explain that those of us here are also from an Earth.
Seventy years ago I belonged to a group of heroes called the Lair Legion.”
“Hey! My world has one too!”
“Not surprising considering you go by the name Speedstreak and you just left the villainy of Ka Chu. Things went as normal as they could. People lived their lives knowing we would always save them. Then one night that all changed.
An ancient evil that you have named, Kuu Kuu Ka Chu, returned from his tomb. His first victims were four heroes who where at the museum that night, Trickshot, Jack Rabbit, Frogman and you, Speedstreak. He tortured his old foe Pigeonman into madness. He didn’t want his foe to reincarnate again, as Pigeonman was known to do.
Frogman had a knack of coming back from the dead so that’s how he warned us. It wasn’t enough though. Ka Chu was well organized. He used his cult members to inform him on which heroes might pose a threat. Fin Fang Foom, Donar, Amazing Guy, the Dark Knight, Xander, Goldeneyed, Exile, De Brown Streak, Sorceress, Chyrel, Yo, dull thud, Darkhwk, Messenger and Space Ghost were all killed right away.
The Dark Knight returned of course and with the survivors he formed a resistance.
By then Ka Chu had complete control of the country. His two arch foes, Pigeonman and Pigeonwoman, were disfigured and kept alive in his Parody Isle concentration camp. Soon Frogman and the Dark Knight met the same fate.
Hatman rallies the last defensive force against the villain. Dancer, CrazySurgarFreakBoy!, NTU-150, spiffy, Ziles, Nats, Cobra, E-Mail, Jackie Rabbit, Hunter Victorious, Sir Mumphrey Wilson, Lisette, ManMan and myself were now the Lair Legion. Under Hatman’s leadership we led an entire army of citizens into war with Ka Chu’s forces.
We lost. They ripped right through us. HE ripped right through us.
Of all that fought beside us, only Hatman, CrazySurgarFreakBoy!, Ziles, Dancer, ManMan and myself were left. There were also men, women and children still alive from the resistance, totaling ten in number. With them the six of us were herded to what we thought was a public execution. Turned out Ka Chu had some sort of device. Said he didn’t want any more martyrs.
Turned out the ancient device opened a portal to this Hell. We were all sent through the one way portal. Dancer tried to use her probability altering powers to return us home but they didn’t work as well.
That was fifty years ago.”
Silence filled the cave. Jonny felt the sheer defeat in his voice as he told the tale.
After a long pause which Jonny thinks means the tale is finished, the elderly man continues his tale, “We discovered we were not alone here.
We quickly found an unspeakable terror, worse then the native creatures, terrain or weather. Hatman and the other surviving Legionaries left Dancer and I to guard the people while they went to stop this creature.
They never returned.
We led the people into these caves. As the years passed everyone settled down, making this world our new home. Years passed and people adapted. They had families and survived. Then there came a day when some disagreed with how things were run and a group split off. Everyone in awhile we run across them. Their encampment is up north. I warn you to never go there.
Well, so that is our history, young Speedstreak. Apparently you come from a world were Ka Chu has only just started his evil. Maybe some from your Earth will become trapped here as well.”
“Not if I can help it! I’ll get out of here, just you watch!”
“I admire your enthusiasm. I haven’t seen it’s like in decades.”
“Mister, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course. I am getting tired though, so please keep it short.”
Jonny could see just how tired and old this hero was. Life on this world wasn’t very easy for him.
“Who were you? I mean, who.. what Legionnaire were..”
“My names Visionary, although it’s been too long sense I went by that name.”
Next issue is coming soon!
a.g.
Amazing Guy
This story is written and copyrighted (C) 2006 by Scott Bryan (also known as AG), and may not be
reprinted without permission. Annabelle, Roland, Anthony Foresight, vampirates, Sunset Sal, Amazing Guy, Justin Time, Jack Rabbit, Jackie Rabbit, Desert Rose, Eli the Elemental, Kid Produce, Scott Brunsen, Tom Irving, the JBH, Amazing Bunch, Champion Battalion, Alpha Prime, Blackbird, Mongoose, Fabric, Tyranus, Solarflare, Elastic Woman, Golden Giant, Madam Liberty, Squirrel,
Starglow, Archer, Vindicators, TK, Animaila, Power Urge, Harmony, Ally Cat, Captain Crimson, Blue Jewel, Equindox, Amazing Boy and Moonlord all are properties of Scott Bryan and AG.
Scott’s Site! Featuring Caption the Pic (where action figures talk!) and Amazing Tales on the Web (stories and micros of the Parodyverse!).
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